Monday, May 14, 2012

Breaking The Stereotype: The 'P'

"Do you think woman will still love her husband after 5 years?"

I was like "what??"

The issue was pretty 'hot' last night.

We had a talk on "Muslimah: Breaking the Stereotype"

Well, i think it somehow created stereotypes to the audiences on some issue-like yhe 'P'? :)

Ok. The issue was actually on the 'P'- polygamy.
The speaker said that a man started thinking about marrying another when his wife started to stop loving him, which according to him after 5 years. (If i understood correctly)

Man, i wanted so much to grab the mike last night and said this:

"I'm so sorry ustaz. Are you trying to say that man would want to marry second because the wife is no longer loving him? Is that a valid reson to let a man marrying another? I'm sorry to say this, but i actually don't agree with that, with all of my due respect, ustaz. I recognize polygamy and i support it as it is recognized in islam too, but i believe it to be taken seriously with conditions for its great wisdoms. Men must be able to be justice, financially capable, marrying another for the sake of Allah like helping a single mother or a sister to provide her security and shelter or to fullfil both parties' needs as agreed.. and PLEASE let your wife know and discuss with her, tho' the marriage is till valid without her consent. Please be 'a man', be creative to talk to her.

Ok. I recognize all these. But to marry another one just because you feel or think that your wife is no longer loving you after 5 years? That's unacceptable! How bout regaining her love, communicate with her. that's what making up a relation, not abondaning her and marrying to a second wife. What if your second wife stop loving you too? Are you gonna marry to a third? Then fourth?.."

Allahul musta'an..

i respect the speaker, and i still do. Bi ithnillah.
But someone has to break this..
And i kinda regret that i didn't.

Lessons learnt: speak out your mind. Clarify. Be open to criticism.

This is just my 2 cents.

My opinions? You  may choose to disagree.

But if it's a commandment from Allah?
"sa mi'na wa ata'na", We hear and we obey..

The wisdoms of all these commandments?
It's up to you now to discover them.

Be proactive!

Allah please bless us in last night's gathering. Amin.

With so much love and peace,
Umm Teem.

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