Knowledge 'Access' for Hawa (Updated)

Bismillah.
Assalamu'alaykum..

I know i should be focusing on my final revision for my final exam paper tomorrow..
But i couldn't just focus !
SubhanAllah..
What we discussed this morning when we were having our breakfast really made me restless.
I'm not gonna settle down until i write it down.
I know i won't until i do so..
InshaAllah..

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I remember having a halaqah in our masjid here (in our university) and after it ended, we saw brothers gathered around our ustadz, in circle sitting and they seemed to be discussing with him.

SubhanAllah, i still remember how i felt (and still do whenever i get to think of this)..
I was soooo jealous ! And still do..
I felt like walking to them directly, straight away, sit and listen to what they were discussing- MORE KNOWLEDGE! MORE HIKMAH to learn from this amazing ustadz with wonderful akhlaq, wisdom that he possesses. (as to what is apparent-personally know his wife and a bit on his conduct after these few years attending his classes-Allah knows best)

But the only thing that stopped me from doing so was the fact that: I was the only WOMAN-LADY-GIRL-FEMALE-any term of similar species (!) there..

Ok.. Ahaa.. I knew it's crazy to do that. I have hayaa' too..
Allahul musta'an.

I talked to the organizer, suggested to him if we could have a session with Ustadz, only for female.
The sad part is that, ustadz couldn't. I can understand that he stays far, full schedule on other classes he has in other places..
I thank the organizer for opening Q&A session more for sisters during the halaqah tho', alhamdulillah..
But we want more...

We have issues to ask and seek advice from..
We have doubts on lessons learnt to clarify..
We have topics read from our books alone that need to further discuss..

This doesn't happen once.
And not for this particular halaqah, only.
I see this happening in many places.
We women usually have limited access to the ustadz of certain and specified expertize of different disciplines and fields of knowledge. That's such a great loss.
I do feel frustrated seeing this keep hindering us from our passion.
And i see other sisters who are trading on the same path of mine feeling the same way.

Now i realize, where are the female scholars that we can consult, sit and learn from? Whose akhlaq, ways of thinking, knowledge-we can learn, adopt from and impersonate? At least here in our place, where are they?

We do have our own halaqah among sisters, but it's different when we can have a scholar or true student of knowledge who had spent his 5-10 years to learn islam in details and having good akhlaq and wisdom in his teaching- there's so much to learn and gain from this kind of people !

Now i can really understand how the female companions of Prophet Muhammad salallahu 'alayhi wasalam used to feel when they once requested from him salallahu 'alayhi wasalam to have a special,separate classes only for them..

We want one for us, too.....
Ya Rabb, Ya Mujib..
You hear us..

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Khayr. Now we now what we need.
Access to knowledge and qualified people to teach, for sisters..
For all levels, by all possible means, for all possible fields of knowledge.

Ustadz once advised us to be more proactiv in seeking knowledge.
Be more serious in this,
Learn from the 'first-hand' knowledge,
Get your hands on the great books written by big scholars,
Be the female scholars or at leasts students of knowledge who other sisters in the society can benefit from
our knowledge, akhlaq, iman, etc..
Go study whatever it takes to become one !

I get it, BE ONE when you can't FIND ONE.

Wooa.. Heavy.
I feel heavy.
So did my friend when we were discussing this issue this morning.
Allahul musta'an..

Will work on that, inshaAllah.
Pls make du'a for us..

*One thing at a time, ukhty~*

Ya Rabb, pls make us all among people of iman with true understanding of Islam who implement and upon their knowledge with full taqwa and ihsan while keeping the intention sincerely for Your sake, to seek the countenance of You in Jannatul Firdasil A'la. Amin

Upset-and-frustrated-but-motivated-muslima,
Umm Teem.

Beautiful advice given by Ustaz Ibrahim Nuh: