Get Them Excited !

Assalamu'alaykum wrm wbt my dear sisters!!

As i was reading the Quran this morning, i was reminded of my Quran teacher during my childhood. I somehow was sooooo inspired to write this post, Allahu Akbar!

I realized that her inspiration had really inspired me, A LOT. SubhanAllah..
She used to make me love my Quran class sooooo muchhhh..
Her smile, her warm-welcoming face, softness and she was very friendly.
Someone that you would be excited to meet everyday!

Ya Allah, wherever she is right now, please have mercy and increase her in blessings in dunya and akhirah!
Aaamin.

So i was thinking to myself, just as much as she had inspired me, why don't i share my experience and my humble thoughts on how to get your kids/ small siblings (best to start at a very early age) to LOVE THE QURAN!

*Wink Wink*

What You Need:

1. A student or two. As i don't prefer large group of students- my span focus is kinda limited. So up to you :)

2. The Quran. One mushaf for you and give your student each. (Give to them as a gift and tell them how valuable it is for them to keep)

3. A Quran with translation and tafseer. (In language that your prefer)

What To Do?

1. If your potential student (let say a kid) has not shown any interest to learn Al-Quran, make him/her (Now, let's say 'him'). Let him sees what you do- how keen you are to read and read and read the mushaf and how keen and passionate you are to have your own time (privacy i would say) with your mushaf. Let him wonder why are you acting as such.

2. Make sure you have the time to give hint to him on what you are doing and tell how excited you are, how amazing you are feeling and how happy you are !

3. When he has started to ask you what you are doing and why you are doing what you are doing, that's when you trigger his interest. Say, "You seriously want to know? Hmm.." and start telling him some stories in the Quran. Get him to sit with you for a period of time. (But make sure you are not giving him too much info, he might get bored. Give little so that he will crave for more stories from you inshaAllah :)

4. Let him know in the end, there are other amazing stories in The Quran and if he wants to know more, tell him to see you again some other time. (Make a promise on when and where exactly you can do so with him- best applied to my own siblings, used to do it when they were small, bi ithnillah)

5. Next time he sits with you again, tell him that you have a very valuable gift for him. Also tell him to make wudhu (ablution) before you hand it over to him. Tell him why you wanted him to do so- The gift is sooo valuable and precious that it needs you and him and anyone else to take wudhu before touching it and that you need him to promise you to take very good care of it, handle it nicely as it's an amanah (and tell him you would be sad if he doesn't). Only then, give him the Quran :)

6. Next , see how he wants to go about it. I would suggest that you teach him memorization with tajweed. Have only 3-5 verses a day for him to memorize by heart. To make him motivated to do so, promise him that you are going to share a wonderful story relates to the verses (your task: find for tafseer/ asbabun nuzul of these verses to share with him). Again, not to share too much with him, he might get tired and bored.



7. After he has finished memorizing, let him recite to you, assist him to memorize and
correct him if necessary. Praise him if he managed to do so correctly and remind him how happy Allah will be with him. Also, tell him, how confident you are on his ability to memorize the entire Quran some day (don't forget to smile and look into his eyes :)

8. Make a promise to meet again with him for more amazing stories, inshaAllah :)

If you realize, THE STUDENT that i referred to here in this article was expected to have a fundamental knowledge and understanding of tawheed- such as believe in Allah, HIS messengers, etc (The tenets of faith). Therefore, if your student does not have this, explain to him what he needs to know when these matters are brought up and that you realize he is not knowing any of them. May Allah give ease in your affairs! Aamin!

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Some kids may have high curiosity. Just make sure you let them stay in that condition whenever you leave them at the end of the session you have with them. You may leave them with few questions for them to think and ponder upon in regards to what you are going to share with them in next class. So that they may become eager to see you for the Quran session you will have with them in future, inshaAllah.

For example,
"There's a surah in the Quran that talks about an ant. Amazingly, a man was given a blessing to hear them talking! Do you know who? Hm... You know what, i think i'm gonna share this with you in our next session, inshaAllah"

That should work, inshaAllah :)
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Recalling on the time when i was late to my Quran class and the class had ended by the time i reached home from school in the evening. I somehow gushed to the class with my head scarf in one hand and my Quran in the other hand. I was really hoping that she will allow me to sit with her for that evening. And alhamdulillah, she did allow me, even though i was alone. O' Allah, how inspiring she was back then, until today alhamdulillah !

Barakallahu feeha! 
May Allah bless her! Aaamin..

Interesting websites on Quran-related for Kids:
1. Quran For Kids
2. Introducing Islam to Our Kids



*In The Making of The Next Best Generation of Al-Quran and As-Sunnah: Our Next Caliphs and Next Ummahatul Mukminun. InshaAllah*

VID: Teach Islam

Assalamu'alaykum wrm wbt..

Sharing this with my circle of relatives and friends. Pls kindly spread the khayr and share the ajr. 
Jazakumullahu khayran.

Bismillah.

************************************

Where should Islamic education come/start off from?
Not from the khatibs, the imams, or anyone else before the family institution, of course.

But the issue here is that what our parents used to do 10-20 years may no longer be relevant to our world today..

So... Here, bro Nouman Ali Khan addressed few humble tips, (such an eye-opener subhanAllah) on IMPROVING, preparing ourselves for the next generation- by starting off with the QURAN- LOVING THE QURAN. 

Yes, there are some parts of the education need not to be changed as how the teachings were revealed to the anbiya. 

But with the zombie consumerism?
PSP/Gamebox freaks-lifestyle? 
And more challenges and irresistible temptation today's generation is facing/experiencing/struggling to overcome,
How can we start loving the quran? 
Thus to instill this in today and next generation? 
Practically, how do we do that?

I mean, seriously, think about this.

Some of us are an elder brother/sister to other siblings.
Some are teachers by profession.
And some maybe, sooner or later, going to get kids or to get married.
We are going to be a husband,/wife, next a father/mother..
Or the least, to be a role model, an exemplary to others around us, if Allah wills.

I humbly invite all of you to watch this.

So pls watch~!

Like Bro NAK said, yea, syaithan will come to you, make you yarn and feel sleepy, or suddenly bother you with meetings that you have, 'important' things to do, bla bla bla- when you want to do good things, when you want to spend quality times listening and reciting the Quran with our family.. Or even when you want to WATCH THIS VIDEO!

So pls watch till the last, stay with bro NAK pls..

'We have to become the Nation of Al-Quran- US AND OUR CHILDREN, and the next generation (inshaAllah)'

Here's the video:

How we USED to feel and think

2 interesting poems....

(My comments at the end)

#1 A Simple Smile, A Scream Inside

There's so much no one knows,

So much that no one sees,

About the way I feel inside,

my thoughts and all my needs.

Maybe it's that they don't look,

Or the fact that I don't show,

Either way, there are things inside

that no one seems to know.

I want to show the world,

I want everyone to see,

all the thoughts and ideas

that flow inside of me.

Maybe you haven't noticed,

or maybe you don't dare,

to find out who I am,

to show me that you care.

I'm screaming on the inside,

a smile is what you see,

But I'm not content with the person

I seem to be.

There's a different person on the inside,

that I can't seem to show,

but maybe if you took the time,

that person you could know..

"Taken from Chicken Soup For The Teen Soul"

#2 Stone By Stone

I have a wall you cannot see
because it's deep inside of me
it blocks my heart on every side
and helps emotions there to hide
you cant reach in
i cant reach out
you wonder what it's all about

the wall i built that you cant see
results from insecurity
each time my tender heart was hurt
the scars within grew worse and worse
so stone by stone
i built a wall
thats now so thick it will not fall

please understand that its not you
continue trying to break through
i want so much to show myself
and love from you will really help
so bit by bit
chip at my wall
til stone by stone it starts to fall

i know the process will be slow
its never easy to let go
of hurts and failures long ingrained
upon one's heart from years of pain
im so afraid
to let you in
i know i might get hurt again

i try to hard to break the wall
but seem to get nowhere at all
for stone upon each stone ive stacked
and left between them not a crack
the only way
to make it fall is imperfections in the wall

i did the best i could to build
a perfect wall, but there are still
a few small flaws, which "is" the key
to breaking through the wall to me
please use each flaw
to cause a crack
to knock a stone off of the stack

for just as stone by stone was laid
with every hurt and every pain
so stone by stone the wall will break
as love replaces every ache
please be the one
who cares enough
to find the flaws, no matter what

Stone by Stone, "Chicken Soup for the Teen Soul" by Rachel Bentley

*******************************************************************

ps: These are the poems that as a teenager, i used to like.
(Found them after few years ! Via Syaykh Googly Google)

Such a typical teen girl.

But seriously, that's how most of the teens today feel. Hmmmm...  :/

(If you get what i mean- from what you understood from the poem)

Again, i used to (Read: USED TO) read and like these poems.
I used to- so they unnecessarily resemble my personality/identity/character for today.
(I'm a BIG girl now, a young adult alhamdulillah) :D

Anyhow, reflecting upon these 2, can u imagine how much these young people wanted us (who are so-called so concern and care of them) to listen to them, 'reach' to their feelings and thoughts, to understand and to be genuinely sympathy and empathy towards them..

To my second thought, do we realize, how frustrating and disappointing it is to see so many of them came from a broken family institution, having their potential talents to be polished-retarded then destroyed.

And then you can see in some of them having psychological disorders accumulated in them, such feelings/thought or (should i say) inferior complexity developed within them and then expressed, waiting to be heard, understood and taken 'heed' from those who may concern or from who they seek unreplied attention from, which their family members had failed to do so in the first place ! It's so painful to see this. SubhanAllah.. Seriously it is. Allahul musta'an.. :(

I feel for them.
Understood.

Now, i believe we have to do something about this.
It's time for action. Let's start from small ones, at smaller scale.
Not to forget making or bringing changes for the larger scale- to help all kids from the entire world- Doesn't seem feasible enough for me, not yet. Allahu a'alam)
Let's start with the people near us.
Let's start listening to those around us.
Let's us see what can we do to help them.
Let's try our best.
Let's begin with those who are the closest to us.
Let's do something.
I know it's worth something. InshaAllah.

It's better than not trying at all.
From there, we can move to greater plans targeting to a bigger scale.
If you get what i mean here. InshaAllah :)

Ya Rabb, please bless us all in our age, wealth, health, family and most importantly,

Pls bless us with strong iman and taqwa..

Amin.

*Concern of the youth today*

Blissful with love and peace,

Umm Teem

My Dear Sisters: Please Don't Soften Your Voice

Bismillah. Assalamu'alaykum..

A reminder for us all today!

..فَلاَ تَخْضَعْنَ بِالْقَوْلِ فَيَطْمَعَ الَّذِى فِى قَلْبِهِ مَرَضٌ وَقُلْنَ قَوْلاً مَّعْرُوفاً..

“..then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner”
[al-Ahzaab 33:32] 

My beloved sisters, let's not soften our speech when talking to men. Let's see what scholars say about this (tafseer of the above ayah/verse) :

al-Qurtubi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his Tafseer:

Allaah commanded them to make their speech serious and straightforward, and their posture and gestures should not convey and wrong ideas, as the Arab women used to do when speaking to men, by making the voice soft and gentle, like the speech of immoral women and prostitutes; He forbade them to do that.

It says in Mughni al-Muhtaaj (4/210), a book of Shaafa’i fiqh:

The woman’s voice is not ‘awrah, and it is permissible to listen to it if there is no fear of fitnah, but it is recommended for her to make her voice unappealing if there is a knock at the door, so she should not answer in a gentle voice, rather she should make it harsh by putting her hand over her mouth.

It says in Kashshaaf al-Qinaa’ (5/15), a book of Hanbali fiqh:

The voice (of a non-mahram woman) is not ‘awrah. It says in al-Furoo’ and elsewhere: according to the more correct opinion, it is haraam to gain pleasure from listening to it, even if she is reciting Qur’aan, for fear of fitnah. 

It says in Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (17/202):

The woman’s voice is not haraam in and of itself, and it is not haraam to listen to it unless there is some softness and gentleness in speech. It is haraam for a woman to speak in such a manner to anyone other than her husband, and it is haraam for men other than her husband to listen to it

I won't advice you to shout/raise your voice (to its highest pitch) to men when talking/dealing with them nor am i telling you to CUT OFF your communication completely with them when THERE IS A GREAT NEED for you to deal with them (When i say NEED, it really means NEED a.k.a you don't find ANY OTHER SISTERS to help you) But please don't soften your (readily womanly-soft) voice. Sisters, you know what i'm talking about- when a woman starts giggling here and there with her widest smile on face that her face is full with 'nur' + her cute lil' voice talking innocently to men. God, cair hati lelaki.. (Wa'iyadzhubillah!)

*side-note: Men please lower your gaze (It's in surah an-Nur: 30) and then women too (An-Nur: 31) To my niqabi sisters, it's more important for you to observe your speech since nothing appears from you-except your voice! But that's the best part of being niqabi and fully covered- the hidden face and expression. :)

So minimize your conversation to men (non-mahram,stranger-men) and speak what's important only! (Give them no chance to be 'hanky-panky' with you. Once things done between you and the guy, walk away!)

As Syaykh Salih Munajjid once advised:

It is permissible for a woman to speak in the presence of non-mahram men in cases of necessity, subject to the condition that the speech is straightforward and serious and there is no softness, temptation or provocation in her voice. Her voice is not ‘awrah according to the correct scholarly view. Women used to speak to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and ask him questions, and they used to speak to the Sahaabah about their needs, and they were not denounced for doing so. 

Again. Be professional in dealing with men, talk only what's necessary, have Allah in heart. Be mindful of Allah..

Have taqwa my lovely sisters. Allah's watching you!

And Allah knows best. Wallahua'alam.

(A humble note with A GREAT REMINDER for the forgetful me, before reminding others)

With SO MUCH LOVE to my sweet sisters, wassalam.

When I Told You Not To..

source: click here

When i told you not to take off your hijab,

I wasn't trying to prove

that i'm way better than you.

When i told you not to take off your hijab,

I understood how you felt,it has never been easy,

to hold on to your believe,

just as how you wanted to.

When i told you not to take off your hijab,

i wasn't ignoring you,

and all the trials HE has put you thru'..

How could you take off you hijab,

it's HIS order to obey and you need to,

when all that He wanted,

was just the best for you?

You're beatiful, i know..

And do you really need people to tell you so?

You think HE's cruel and injustice, to give you this precious gift

then not letting you to show?

When i told you not to take off your hijab,

i was just reminding you of HIM,

of our loving LORD,Who creates you beautifully,

and Who just want to preserve your beauty.

You know it's hijab to secure your beauty,I know you feel guilty

so why would you want to take it off, honey?

You'll never win this game,

which you called "please-people' you're playing..

It's Allah ALONE you're pleasing..

So care not what they say,

no worries, let them walk away.

When i told you not to take off your hijab,

i was just being concern,

wanting the best for you,

because i do care and i do love you..

Source: click here

A Step Towards Tolerance Documentary

Bismillah..

Assalamu'alaykum!

I found this video while reading a website. It's very interesting! MashaAllah..

MUST WATCH! Beautiful documentary. A non-muslim woman experienced herself how it felt like wearing head-cover (hijab) in west.

There were parents who even looked 'ready to FIGHT' with her when she waived at their kids while SMILING-That's all she did, no offense :(

A Social Experiment

by ~asmilingmalice

I wrote this on January 22, 2011. At first I wanted to keep this story between me and a few close friends, but in light of what has just recently happened at the Islamic Center of America, I feel that I have to share this story. This is no longer an issue on religion. This is outright discrimination and intolerance. If my story can inspire others, or at least affect someone on a personal level, then I've done all that I can do.


A Social Experiment

Yesterday, I went to the Islamic Center of America. I felt incredibly out of place, being a non-Muslim who wasn't wearing a hijab, and I was very nervous when stepping into the office. Out of respect, I did the best I could to hide my hair by pulling up my coat's hood. I went to the lady at the desk, greeted her with "assalamu alaikum," and she was very happy to answer my questions about the mosque and where to buy a hijab, among other things. She told me that I could observe the prayers, gave me an e-mail to a man who could give me a tour of the center, and told me how to properly wear the hijab. It was a surprisingly warm welcome and I felt pretty at ease.

After observing the service, I noticed a man was selling something in one of the hallways. I walked over there and saw a collection of jewelry and hijabs. I decided that if I were to come back, I should have more than just my coat's big hood. So I bought a pretty green hijab, then stepped into the lady's room to try it on. It's there I met Sona. She was 27-years-old and had converted to Islam a year ago. She helped me with the hijab, we exchanged numbers, and she told me that she would answer any questions I had about the religion, the culture, among other things.

After we parted ways, an idea occurred to me when I was driving home from the mosque. Back in high school, I wanted to do a social experiment for my Sociology class. My sister gave me the idea to wear a hijab out in public to see how people treated me. Back then, I didn't know where to find a hijab. Now that I had one, I thought I would give that experiment another shot. So I put on my new hijab and set out to three public places: a bookstore, the mall, and a restaurant.

The bookstore wasn't entirely unpleasant. There weren't too many people there to begin with, and because the ones there were absorbed in books, it explained why they didn't pay all that much attention to me. One of the ladies who worked there asked me if I needed any help and showed me where the bookstore kept the Qur'an. Overall it was pretty nice.

The mall and the restaurant were quite different.

I wrote this in my status on Facebook: Muslims put up with some of the worst customer service. I am not exaggerating when I say this.

When I stepped into that mall, I realized just how different this particular outing was going to be from others I've had in the past. The first store I walked into was Best Buy, but I visited every store in the mall at least once. No sooner did I step into Best Buy, I noticed how different things were. First of all, the person at the door didn't greet me like he did to other customers entering the store. I didn't think nothing of it at first, and instead I went over to look at the CDs and DVDs in the store. Usually when a customer is browsing the store, one of the employees will approach them and ask if they need any help finding something. This didn't happen once, not even when I made direct eye contact with an employee whom I went to school with. She didn't recognize me. I can't blame her for it, since my long hair was covered up, but I couldn't help but feel that all she saw was my hijab and not me, let alone a customer.

The salespeople at the mall were pretty much the same. There were only a select few who actually said more than one word to me. The employees would not welcome me into their stores. They wouldn't ask if I needed help. They wouldn't ask if I wanted to try on an outfit, even when I was holding it in my hands. They never said "We hope to see you again!" or "Have a nice day," when I left the store. Judging by this consistent reaction from salesperson to salesperson, I couldn't help but feel that they were glad to be rid of me and most definitely didn't hope to see me again. To make matters uncomfortably worse, in every store I went into, I noticed that the same security guard was there. From Spencer's to Borders, this security guard wasn't making it a secret that he was following me everywhere I went.

I want it noted that when I stepped into the mall, I was not wearing a burqa (Muslim clothing that covers all of the body and the face), a chador (Iranian clothing that covers the entire body) or a niqab (a veil that covers the hair and face which reveals only the eyes). In post-September 11th America, the clothing listed would understandably be considered suspicious in case of a burglary or a bomb threat. The clothing makes it difficult, if not impossible, to make a clear identification in case of those threats. Had I been wearing those, I would understand the neglectful salespeople and the security guard trailing me, but all I wore was a hijab. All I was covering was my hair.

I also want it noted that when I entered the mall, I was all smiles: I looked people in the eye and smiled at them. I waved to children. I was just as happy and as approachable as I would have been without the hijab. If I were to smile at someone's child without covering my hair, parents wouldn't get defensive over it and give me dirty looks. They would have smiled back at me. If I wasn't wearing my hijab and smiled at a person who was walking my way, they wouldn't turn their head away from me or refuse to make eye-contact. They would have smiled back. If I had walked into a JC Penny's, a Macy's, a Hot Topic, a Spencer's, or a Forever 21 without my hijab on, people wouldn't have ignored me and avoided me. They would have greeted me and jumped to assist me. If I wasn't wearing my hijab and walked around the mall, I wouldn't have a security guard following me into every store, because they probably would be hounding some other Muslim woman.

All I did was cover my hair. I didn't insult these people. I never did anything to these people. I didn't get into an argument with them, or threaten them, or cause any sort of trouble that would warrant this cold behavior, let alone the attention of a security guard. All I did was cover my hair.

However, I feel that the greatest display of outright discrimination took place at the restaurant. This was my former workplace and many of my ex-coworkers were still working there. None of them recognized me, and as soon as I walked into the restaurant, the hostess (a former co-worker who was looking me right in the face) looked positively stunned that a Muslim woman walked into the place. She didn't recognize me, but led me to a table. I took my seat and opened up the menu, but at the same time my eyes were scanning the area. This table was assigned to a waittress, but a waittress never came to me. Usually, after a person is seated, the waittress comes to the table immediately and asks you if you want a drink. I had to wait for at least five to ten minutes before the hostess returned and asked me if I wanted anything to drink.

None of the waittresses ever came to my table to take my order. None of them asked me if I wanted a refill for my water. None of them asked if I was doing alright or if I needed anything else. To make matters worse, it is expected of the waittresses to ask the customers these questions even if they are not waiting on them. Not one of these waittresses wanted to make eye contact with me, nor did they want to come by me.

It wasn't until I waved at one of my former managers that he even recognized me. It was then that my hostess recognized me. After I told her about everything that happened today, she looked positively shocked. I would hope that she recognized the same discrimination being carried out in this establishment as it did in the previous ones. If this is how the waittresses would treat a girl with just her hair covered, they would definitely treat an actual Muslim woman in this way.

When I was younger, I would hear how people truly felt about Native Americans. Since I look more like my mother and less like my father, these people would be more open about their opinions around me than they would have if my hair was black and my skin was darker. I still get defensive when something like this happens and I've always felt that it was discrimination. However, this was the very first time in my life that I have truly felt discriminated against. When people were talking about Native Americans, they weren't thinking of the white, blond haired woman with 1/4 Ojibwa in her. But when people were ignoring me, glaring at me, following me, denying me service, and weren't welcoming me into their stores or their restaurants, they did it to me. In their eyes, they knew exactly what I was and they didn't want anything to do with me. Even though I did nothing to them but smile.

If this is how we treat Muslims in this country, there will never be peace. There will never be an understanding between religions and cultures. If we shun them, ignore them, and make it blatantly obvious that we don't want them here, we are going against everything that this country is supposed to stand for. And if we carry this ideology that "we don't want them here," "we don't want you to come back here," and "it would be better if you just weren't here at all," how does that make us different from Al Queda, the Nazis, the Westboro Baptist Church, the Ku Klux Klan, or the many other various hate groups in the world? It is this ignorance and this thought process that leads to holocausts.

Look beyond the veil.

______________________________________

"A week after visiting the Islamic Center of America, a man was arrested for attempting to bomb it.

Only a few days ago, Florida Pastor Terry Jones traveled all the way to Dearborn, Michigan to burn a Qur'an infront of the Islamic Center of America.

This is the same pastor who wanted to burn hundreds of Qur'ans on September 11th.

I wanted to keep this story private. But I can't anymore. This is me. This is my experience. And I feel now, more than ever, that it's important to share this with all of you.."

*asmilingmalice

Marriage- a MEANS not an END

Assalamu'alaykum..

I read an article and it's very interesting.

It really is something that people can't stop talking about, eventhough you really don't want to.

Good points shared here, so have a good time reading it!

____________________________________________

MARRIAGE DELAYED

(copied from here)

Bismillah.

Marriage, seems to be the topic people are tired of hearing about, yet want to continue talking about. I think this topic rose to fame and has remained a favorite in the westernMuslim community because of how difficult it has become; getting married (the halal) at this time is difficult, while temptation (and haram) by its very essence is easy. Many youth feel that they are ready to get married, but face a number of obstacles (all of which I could not enumerate or recognize as every sister’s circumstance is different, but I would guess family is one of the more common issues faced).

To digress for a moment here, I remember many years back, my friend and I had gone to the video store with her little sister and nanny. My friend’s sister ended up wanting a toy which the nanny said she couldn’t have, and so she was crying about the toy all the way home. The same happens with chocolate – we might tell ourselves "no more chocolate for this week," and then end up thinking about chocolate more than we do in the first place.This is essentially what happens when you want something which you are told you can’t have until a later date ,you think about it. By the same token this happens with the issue of marriage. Some youth are interested and can’t go ahead with it and then have it on their mind constantly trying to drive the thoughts away. So, what can youth in this situation do?

Firstly, it’s a good time to remember that marriage is a means, and not an end. Think about it, is your purpose in life to get married? Will you be 100% happy and trouble-free when you get married? The answer to both questions is no. We all know our purpose is to worship Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala. And, it’s not like after you get married, you and your husband will joyfully skip into the sunset and it’s happily ever after. Pure happiness, peace, and tranquillity can only be found in Jannah. Which brings me to my next point – let us not forget about what we really should have on our mind and be striving for, Jannah.

I began to reflect on some lines of a poem:

O single Muslim!
How intelligent are you!
While some make marriage their ultimate goal,
You know it's only a means,
To reach the final abode!

Questions started popping into my mind: why did I want to get married? What is marriage a means for? What is the end?

Why do people want to get married?

Many reasons, and again I could not list them all here. The main ones, are as follows:

• To please and increase in the worship and obedience of Allah AzzawaJall, and to follow the sunnah of the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam)

• To protect themselves from falling into zina and haram, and a halal way to satisfy their desires

• They don’t have a good family life or have problems at home which they want to escape from

• They like the idea of being loved, having a family, etc.

source: click here

The first point should be the primary reason we want to get married, while if there are any other factors they should be secondary to that main one.

What is marriage a means for?

In relation to the previous question, once you set your main intention in order, you realize marriage is a means to complete half your deen. It is a tool for raising a family upon the religion in obedience Allah Azzawa Jall. And increase and better yourselves together. Ultimately all this is to please Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala and gain Jannah bi’ithnillah.

What is the end?

Thus, we now see that the main goal in our lives shouldn’t be to get married, but to live life in such a way that we can insha’Allah have the Mercy of Allah Azzawa Jall reach us. The end we want is Jannah (Jannatul Firdaus, insha’Allah)!

So we’ve got all that sorted but you still can’t get married…what do you do?

If it’s really not possible for you to get married at the moment, for whatever reason, then there is no point in obsessing over it and thinking about it every moment. If we consider the current situation rationally, we need to ask ourselves: is thinking about it going to change the circumstances? Nope. Accept the reality and stop ‘scouting’ out prospects X years in advance. Put your head down, and occupy your time with good deeds and activities that will please Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala. I’m not saying that you won’t think of marriage for the next X years, you will naturally think about it occasionally, but insha’Allah it won’t be on your mind 24/7. Busy yourself with ibadaat, learn more about your deen (there are so many books that one can read insha Allah wa mash’Allah), memorize Qur’an and understand tafsir, volunteer, get involved in projects serving the deen (online or in person), hold fundraisers, etc. And finally, work on yourself, for the sake of Allah AzzawaJall and your akhirah.

Our love for Allah AzzawaJall, and then the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, and Jannah should be greater than our love for other humans in this dunya. Make the deen your life and focus. You may still get whispers from Shaytan telling you to impress that brother, but fight away those thoughts and keep on marching forward insha Allah. On the Day of Judgment, you will stand alone with your character and deeds, so don’t lose sight of death and the akhirah.

I would like to briefly address the sisters who believe that they are ready for marriage and can eventually convince their parents (gently and respectfully) or overcome the hurdle that is stopping them. My advice would be to go for it! Marrying young is the sunnah, and if you can marry, then why not? Start researching, learning, and reading books about marriage in Islam, its obligations and sunnah, evaluate yourself and what you realistically want in a spouse. And of course do istikhareh prayer before you make any big decisions.

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Istikharah (Seeking Allah's Counsel)

"Oo Allah, I seek the counsel of Your Knowledge, and I seek the help of Your Omnipotence, and I beseech You for Your Magnificent Grace. Surely, You are Capable and I am not. You know and I know not, and You are the Knower of the unseen.

Oo Allah, if You know that this matter (then mention the thing to be decided) is good for me in my religion and in my life and for my welfare in the life to come, then ordain it for me and make it easy for me, then bless me in it.

And if You know that this matter is bad for me in my religion and in my life and the afterlife, then distance me from it, and ordain for me what is good wherever it may be, and help me to be content with it.."

Al-Bukhari 7/162

(as taken from 'Fortress of The Muslim-invocations from The Quran and Sunnah' book compiled by Sa'id bin Wahf Al-Qahtani)

Which One Do You Prefer?

Assalamu'alaykum!

Read this BRUTALLY honest article! (well, at least this is how the writer described it herself ;)

Debunking The "Pretty Woman" Myth: How Romance Novels and Films Delude Youth

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"..So which one is it going to be, ladies?

Do you want the delusive, fair-seeming mirage, or the sweet-tasting but down-played reality?

Do you want the euphoric but temporary pleasure of lust and amore, or the more subtle but permanent love and companionship that is independent of youth and physical attributes, yet spans decades?

Do you want the kind of guy who will give you the giddy but short-lived haramrelationship, or the one who will give you the most phenomenally rewarding and long-term, halal one?

Wake up, girl! Do you really want to be the hottie that catches the eye of guys driving by in Lotus Esprits, or do you want to be the preserved gem – whose earnest prayers can change the decree of your Benevolent Creator – to find you the man who will treat you with the romantic love, kindness and respect that you deserve?

O wannabe “Vivienne”, you deserve much more than $100 dollars a night in a fancy hotel penthouse! اَعُوذُ بِاللّه

Strive to become the jewel that will make you deserve a palace of pearls in the middle of Al-Firdaus - the best place to dwell in, with the man who loves you unconditionally, under the shade of the throne of the One Who loves you both, for eternity.."

*Read the article to know more:

Exhibit A?

Exhibit B?

Which one do you prefer? :)

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"O Ever Living One.. O Eternal One, by Your mercy i call on You to set right all my affairs.. Do not place me in charge of my soul even for the blinking of an eye (a moment).."

Sound hadeeth: Al-Hakim (Fortress of The Muslim)