What a woman wants

What women want? 

A couple that wishes to have a successful relationship must understand each other’s needs. A husband must take into account that a woman’s needs and expectations are different than a man’s. Great intimacy can only be achieved if a woman finds a complete, fulfilling relationship. So what are women looking for in a marriage?

Women get married to find a special best friend. They want someone who will share their secrets, laugh and joke with them, love them, cherish them, adore them, be romantic with them, and make them feel beautiful and wanted. They want someone who will be attracted to them emotionally through their personality, and attracted to them physically through their bodies.

A woman wants a partner who will strive together with her through this life; laughing and rejoicing through the good times, and sticking by each other and supporting each other through the bad times. She wants a man strong in his deen who can stand up and take the responsibility of the household, and help raise the children in accordance with Islam.

A woman wants her husband to be her friend, companion, and soul mate.

Any good husband must realize that a woman’s primary need is emotional. He must take into account the prophetic tradition “The best of you are those who are best to their wives,” [Sahih al-Bukhari], and then strive to be the best to his wife.
[http://www.PureMatrimony.com/]

In the name of MODESTY

You called her Mary, we called her Maryam..
Check ! Al-Quran Chapter 19..

An amazing woman who gained my full respect, for her dignity, intellectuality, strong personality and spirituality..

The moment angel gabriel came near her, she told him to go away ! She was not comfortable with the fact that a stranger, Gabriel who appeared as a man came near her.

Why? Her modesty shields her and protects her dignity..

But how irony, people approve nudity, reject women who choose modesty..

In the name of liberty?
Huh, right.

We are free to choose to obey our religion.
So as you, to choose your rights on so-called 'liberty'..

*Mood uplifting for the most in need- ME*

Must Watch :)

VID: Teach Islam

Assalamu'alaykum wrm wbt..

Sharing this with my circle of relatives and friends. Pls kindly spread the khayr and share the ajr. 
Jazakumullahu khayran.

Bismillah.

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Where should Islamic education come/start off from?
Not from the khatibs, the imams, or anyone else before the family institution, of course.

But the issue here is that what our parents used to do 10-20 years may no longer be relevant to our world today..

So... Here, bro Nouman Ali Khan addressed few humble tips, (such an eye-opener subhanAllah) on IMPROVING, preparing ourselves for the next generation- by starting off with the QURAN- LOVING THE QURAN. 

Yes, there are some parts of the education need not to be changed as how the teachings were revealed to the anbiya. 

But with the zombie consumerism?
PSP/Gamebox freaks-lifestyle? 
And more challenges and irresistible temptation today's generation is facing/experiencing/struggling to overcome,
How can we start loving the quran? 
Thus to instill this in today and next generation? 
Practically, how do we do that?

I mean, seriously, think about this.

Some of us are an elder brother/sister to other siblings.
Some are teachers by profession.
And some maybe, sooner or later, going to get kids or to get married.
We are going to be a husband,/wife, next a father/mother..
Or the least, to be a role model, an exemplary to others around us, if Allah wills.

I humbly invite all of you to watch this.

So pls watch~!

Like Bro NAK said, yea, syaithan will come to you, make you yarn and feel sleepy, or suddenly bother you with meetings that you have, 'important' things to do, bla bla bla- when you want to do good things, when you want to spend quality times listening and reciting the Quran with our family.. Or even when you want to WATCH THIS VIDEO!

So pls watch till the last, stay with bro NAK pls..

'We have to become the Nation of Al-Quran- US AND OUR CHILDREN, and the next generation (inshaAllah)'

Here's the video:

Breaking The Stereotype: The 'P'

"Do you think woman will still love her husband after 5 years?"

I was like "what??"

The issue was pretty 'hot' last night.

We had a talk on "Muslimah: Breaking the Stereotype"

Well, i think it somehow created stereotypes to the audiences on some issue-like yhe 'P'? :)

Ok. The issue was actually on the 'P'- polygamy.
The speaker said that a man started thinking about marrying another when his wife started to stop loving him, which according to him after 5 years. (If i understood correctly)

Man, i wanted so much to grab the mike last night and said this:

"I'm so sorry ustaz. Are you trying to say that man would want to marry second because the wife is no longer loving him? Is that a valid reson to let a man marrying another? I'm sorry to say this, but i actually don't agree with that, with all of my due respect, ustaz. I recognize polygamy and i support it as it is recognized in islam too, but i believe it to be taken seriously with conditions for its great wisdoms. Men must be able to be justice, financially capable, marrying another for the sake of Allah like helping a single mother or a sister to provide her security and shelter or to fullfil both parties' needs as agreed.. and PLEASE let your wife know and discuss with her, tho' the marriage is till valid without her consent. Please be 'a man', be creative to talk to her.

Ok. I recognize all these. But to marry another one just because you feel or think that your wife is no longer loving you after 5 years? That's unacceptable! How bout regaining her love, communicate with her. that's what making up a relation, not abondaning her and marrying to a second wife. What if your second wife stop loving you too? Are you gonna marry to a third? Then fourth?.."

Allahul musta'an..


i respect the speaker, and i still do. Bi ithnillah.
But someone has to break this..
And i kinda regret that i didn't.
Astaghfirullah..

Lessons learnt: speak out your mind. Clarify. Be open to criticism.

This is just my 2 cents.

My opinions? You  may choose to disagree.

But if it's a commandment from Allah?
"sa mi'na wa ata'na", We hear and we obey..

The wisdoms of all these commandments?
It's up to you now to discover them.

Be proactive!

Allah please bless us in last night's gathering. Amin.

With so much love and peace,
Umm Teem.

Marriage- a MEANS not an END

Assalamu'alaykum..

I read an article and it's very interesting.

It really is something that people can't stop talking about, eventhough you really don't want to.

Good points shared here, so have a good time reading it!

____________________________________________

MARRIAGE DELAYED

(copied from here)

Bismillah.

Marriage, seems to be the topic people are tired of hearing about, yet want to continue talking about. I think this topic rose to fame and has remained a favorite in the westernMuslim community because of how difficult it has become; getting married (the halal) at this time is difficult, while temptation (and haram) by its very essence is easy. Many youth feel that they are ready to get married, but face a number of obstacles (all of which I could not enumerate or recognize as every sister’s circumstance is different, but I would guess family is one of the more common issues faced).

To digress for a moment here, I remember many years back, my friend and I had gone to the video store with her little sister and nanny. My friend’s sister ended up wanting a toy which the nanny said she couldn’t have, and so she was crying about the toy all the way home. The same happens with chocolate – we might tell ourselves "no more chocolate for this week," and then end up thinking about chocolate more than we do in the first place.This is essentially what happens when you want something which you are told you can’t have until a later date ,you think about it. By the same token this happens with the issue of marriage. Some youth are interested and can’t go ahead with it and then have it on their mind constantly trying to drive the thoughts away. So, what can youth in this situation do?

Firstly, it’s a good time to remember that marriage is a means, and not an end. Think about it, is your purpose in life to get married? Will you be 100% happy and trouble-free when you get married? The answer to both questions is no. We all know our purpose is to worship Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala. And, it’s not like after you get married, you and your husband will joyfully skip into the sunset and it’s happily ever after. Pure happiness, peace, and tranquillity can only be found in Jannah. Which brings me to my next point – let us not forget about what we really should have on our mind and be striving for, Jannah.

I began to reflect on some lines of a poem:

O single Muslim!
How intelligent are you!
While some make marriage their ultimate goal,
You know it's only a means,
To reach the final abode!

Questions started popping into my mind: why did I want to get married? What is marriage a means for? What is the end?

Why do people want to get married?

Many reasons, and again I could not list them all here. The main ones, are as follows:

• To please and increase in the worship and obedience of Allah AzzawaJall, and to follow the sunnah of the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam)

• To protect themselves from falling into zina and haram, and a halal way to satisfy their desires

• They don’t have a good family life or have problems at home which they want to escape from

• They like the idea of being loved, having a family, etc.

source: click here

The first point should be the primary reason we want to get married, while if there are any other factors they should be secondary to that main one.

What is marriage a means for?

In relation to the previous question, once you set your main intention in order, you realize marriage is a means to complete half your deen. It is a tool for raising a family upon the religion in obedience Allah Azzawa Jall. And increase and better yourselves together. Ultimately all this is to please Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala and gain Jannah bi’ithnillah.

What is the end?

Thus, we now see that the main goal in our lives shouldn’t be to get married, but to live life in such a way that we can insha’Allah have the Mercy of Allah Azzawa Jall reach us. The end we want is Jannah (Jannatul Firdaus, insha’Allah)!

So we’ve got all that sorted but you still can’t get married…what do you do?

If it’s really not possible for you to get married at the moment, for whatever reason, then there is no point in obsessing over it and thinking about it every moment. If we consider the current situation rationally, we need to ask ourselves: is thinking about it going to change the circumstances? Nope. Accept the reality and stop ‘scouting’ out prospects X years in advance. Put your head down, and occupy your time with good deeds and activities that will please Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala. I’m not saying that you won’t think of marriage for the next X years, you will naturally think about it occasionally, but insha’Allah it won’t be on your mind 24/7. Busy yourself with ibadaat, learn more about your deen (there are so many books that one can read insha Allah wa mash’Allah), memorize Qur’an and understand tafsir, volunteer, get involved in projects serving the deen (online or in person), hold fundraisers, etc. And finally, work on yourself, for the sake of Allah AzzawaJall and your akhirah.

Our love for Allah AzzawaJall, and then the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, and Jannah should be greater than our love for other humans in this dunya. Make the deen your life and focus. You may still get whispers from Shaytan telling you to impress that brother, but fight away those thoughts and keep on marching forward insha Allah. On the Day of Judgment, you will stand alone with your character and deeds, so don’t lose sight of death and the akhirah.

I would like to briefly address the sisters who believe that they are ready for marriage and can eventually convince their parents (gently and respectfully) or overcome the hurdle that is stopping them. My advice would be to go for it! Marrying young is the sunnah, and if you can marry, then why not? Start researching, learning, and reading books about marriage in Islam, its obligations and sunnah, evaluate yourself and what you realistically want in a spouse. And of course do istikhareh prayer before you make any big decisions.

_________________________________________

Istikharah (Seeking Allah's Counsel)

"Oo Allah, I seek the counsel of Your Knowledge, and I seek the help of Your Omnipotence, and I beseech You for Your Magnificent Grace. Surely, You are Capable and I am not. You know and I know not, and You are the Knower of the unseen.

Oo Allah, if You know that this matter (then mention the thing to be decided) is good for me in my religion and in my life and for my welfare in the life to come, then ordain it for me and make it easy for me, then bless me in it.

And if You know that this matter is bad for me in my religion and in my life and the afterlife, then distance me from it, and ordain for me what is good wherever it may be, and help me to be content with it.."

Al-Bukhari 7/162

(as taken from 'Fortress of The Muslim-invocations from The Quran and Sunnah' book compiled by Sa'id bin Wahf Al-Qahtani)

For Future Moms~ (and Dads)

Bismillah..

Assalamu'alaykum!

Wana share this good video here:

You gotta watch this video for all beautiful stories Sheikh Syed Rageah shared!

It's important. To have righteous kids, we gotta be righteous too. So let's start becoming one, NOW.

Hope it benefits ya!

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Few IMPORTANT points i'd like to highlight here (and i believe it's crucial for us

all to know, inshaAllah):

1. Problems (Identify, minimize, avoid!)~

• Parents too busy to educate Islam to their children
• Bad examples of mothers (na'udzhubillah)-they add confusion to their daughters.

Well, you know, the 'HIJAB' concept. Putting it on only when they're in mosque and once they step out of the mosque, their hijab just disappeared-gone! Or shall i

say, flew away? :(

• Temptations around (Watch the vid to know the list :)
• Not having the right model to follow.
• Bad environment (Gives great influence to the kids since they learn most through observations-through their cute lil' eyes that act more like 2 sets of non-stoppable+non-filterable video recording! Parents, you'd better watch out!)

2. Since Islam's teachings are all meant to provide us BEST CURE, which is PREVENTION, Sheikh had shared with us some 'sweets yet hard to chew' tips:

• Set Prophet Muhammad salallahu 'alayhi waslm (s.a.w), habeebuna, as our BEST ROLE MODEL-uswatul hasanah

Why i wrote 'our best role model', not 'their'(the kids)? Because to teach these kids to take Prophet Muhammad (saw) as their BEST ROLE MODEL and to implement the sunnan of habeebuna (s.a.w) in everything they do, we have to do them FIRST. Remember the famous quote, "WALK THE TALK"? Uhuh. YOU-WALK THE TALK FIRST before the others :)

• Parents, as your kids ROLE MODELS, should always behave in good manners. Should (or MUST) practise praised characters as taught by our beloved Prophet Muhammad (saw)..

source:click here

MUST never lie to your kids. MUST go to the mosque oftenly, pray jama'ah prayers (to

dads, note this!), be righteous in speeches and deeds, LIVE ISLAMICALLY...MUST DO everything by YOURSELF first, if you want your kids to do the same. Remember i told you they are the 'recorder'?.....

May Allah put ease in all of our affairs as to our sincere intentions and deeds! Aaamin!

source: click here

• To have intelligent, righteous, pious kids like Imam Syafi'e (may Allah have mercy upon him)-start before your delivery to your baby!

So, dads musn't bring any haraam food/stuff into the house. Have your house near the mosque so that your kids (boys especially) could walk there themselves to perform jam'ah prayers when dads get busy and not around... And moms should live islamically also; read+understand al-quran and act upon its teachings, live the sunnah, conduct good attitudes, etc.. (watch the vid to know more)

• If you want your kids to be PERFECT muslims, AIM HIGH.

And then from there, you have to always try to raise them (like sheikh said, 'mold them') so that later on, when they reach age of 15+ (Being teenagers, ya know how hard it is for them to deal with so many LURING yet DESTRUCTIVE temptations), they are easier for you to handle as they would be more obedient to you in righteousness as compared to others of their age that aren't raised islamically. May Allah make our children among the righteous and have taqwa! Aaamin.

So, as future mothers, we really have to prepare ourselves with 'ilm and good akhlaq!

source: click here

• TVs-put on good shows to watch with the kids, put away all the bad and harmful shows away from the kids. (Personally, i'd rather not to have TV at home..)

Well, the sheikh somehow suggested to us to have a more productive time spent with the family-having a visit during the weekend to good+righteous families or any outdoor activities where all of your family members could participate in a healthy-islamic environment. (volunteering in charity work will also do! :)

• Kids are amanah (a trust) from Allah.

So we have to fear Allah! It's a GREAT deal!

When a sister lends you her fave book, what will you do? Surely you wouldn't wana betray her trust to you, right? So you would wana take very good care of it and handle the book carefully-you wouldn't wana lose her trust to you. If that's the case of her trust (the book), what about HIS trust to you(the kids)? Will really have to provide these kids their rights (the utmost priority!): to educate them Islam..

You wouldn't want them to stand infront of Allah and complain, "Oo Allah, my mom (or

dad) didn't teach me how to pray. They didn't teach me how to read the Quran. They didn't teach me..(you can name all the pillars of Islam/Iman if you want).."

Instead of having your kids as a key to jannah, things are happening just the opposite. Na'udzhubillah.. :(

.............................................................................

• For new muslims and new-practising muslims :)

CHANGE ENVIRONMENT!

Uhuh, you read me. If you want to change to a better muslima, want to practise Islam as what you've learnt but the environment just not that friendly to your changes, guess what? You REALLY GOTTA CHANGE THE ENVIRONMENT :)

How?

Sheikh's suggestions:

a. Change friends. Have them who are:

-righteous. (they love spending time in mosque/muslims' organized events)

-remind you to fear Allah (in everything you do)

-correct you when you do wrong things

b. New muslims: don't try to go back (to your former friends-life before you learn enough of your deen.

- How can you dive to save your friend if you don't know how to swim? So stay dry, till you learn to swim. :)

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BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIEND RELATIONSHIP.

How to stay steadfast in avoiding this forbidden relationship?

a. Sincere du'a..

"Oo Allah, You know who i am and who i used to be. Please guide me to remain on this path (steadfastness in obeying/pleasing Allah)" or something alike. :)

b. Avoid being in places of fitan (plural for fitna)-disco, pubs, places where intermingles (and other poisons to our iman) are unavoidable.

c. Fast as much as you can

d. Spend most of your time in mosque..

*Tips above are written to remind the imperfect+forgetful-me, before reminding the others :)

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"Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqun"

(Al-Furqan:74)

.

Ukhty Alima: Love Unveiled

Bismillah....

Assalamu'alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh!

Here's an eBook that i want all of my sisters to subscribe [click below]:

Love Unveiled: An Insight into Love and Marriage

By Ukht Alima Ashfaq

And here's her page I am Alima (FB)

"WHY SHOULD I SUBSCRIBE?.."

Hope the glimpses of this eBook will give you the main ideas on what's happening here!

EnchaAllah~

1. What is the Mysterious thing called LOVE?

" You need to know what is love is, so you can differentiate between LOVE and LUST. Whether it's BEFORE marriage or AFTER. Once you know what it's not-YOU CAN FOCUS ON ACHIEVEING WHAT IT IS.."

2. Marriage in Islam?

"Once you understand the importance of MARRIAGE IN ISLAM, your desire to get married will increase, and you will want to DO IT CORRECTLY in order to attain happiness within this relationship If you're married, you will learn the IMPORTANCE OF MAINTAINING THIS RELATIONSHIP in the good times and bad, as it's something that is emphasized in the Shari'ah and Allah wants the best for you.."

My comments: And here, in this part it goes on correcting your misconceptions on marriage. Marriage is not to just SATISFY one's LUST as many people think, alright? Not to be perceived as a one-day picnic where people just have fun for quite some time and leave after the 'picnic moment' is over! It's more than that. It's all about RESPONSIBILITY-beautifully and happily carried upon the married couples if they do things right.. :)

3. Mekka and Madina

"Two blessed lands, yet very unique and different in their own ways. Once you learn the importance of the other and give both its due right-life will be at ease.... Your marriage will be at ease!"

EnchaAllah!

My comments: Beautiful analogy! Instead of having "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus", now we have "Men Are from Mekka, Women Are from Medina".. How sweet! MashaAllah..

4. I Want You.... But I Fear Allah!

"This life is a test and you have to protect yourself. once you understand the importance of protecting yourself from falling into haraam, you will actively seek to stay away from this and success will be yours.."

I'm telling you this once again: YOU MUST SUBSCRIBE to this eBook. EnshaAllah you will benefit a LOT from here.. :)

"It's your choice. The life you choose to lead is due to the choices you make. If you make them right with the intelligence then you won't go wrong. If you're hasty and you go into a road without a calculated decision then you're setting yourself up for trouble.."

pss: Recall on what a wise man said to me once, "Marriage is no longer significant to many men today because the world is so corrupted-that they have all those means to get what they want, at anytime, anywhere.. So why should they burden themselves with responsibilities (marriage)?"

Allah musta'an.

Wallahu alam..